Reaching the End
Letting go is an interesting process. There’s a catch to it. It doesn’t take us to where we intend. The reason is that in the process of letting go, what we are releasing is the why for having the thing we are letting go of. It’s the reference point that gets dropped and the thing we were attached to loses its value and meaning. We let of go the item because it no longer has importance for us. You know you’ve really let go when it’s kind of difficult to recall what the holding on was all about to begin with.
In my process, I have moved more into a nothingness around what I have identified in the past as me and as my life. Everything is undefined and remains to become whatever it will be, just not right now. I find myself doing things that I hadn’t thought of doing, where and when I wouldn’t have usually done them. It is leading me to “I need be here, do this, now”, generally without knowing the why of it and only sometimes having clear sense of the why.
Letting go, nothingness, a deeper connection in the present moment and to pure essence, and having nothing in terms of a physical location anchoring me -eg a physical living situation that is more fixed because of ownership or contractual agreement- brings forth a new dimension in living and being. It is providing the opportunity to have an even greater sense of where to be in this very moment because of what is arising in the NOW as oppose to because of something in the future.
The Point of No Return
I wake up this morning and I feel the result of a deep letting go process that has been happening for a long time, possibly millennia. This particular process has centered on completion for only in completion does the letting go finally happen. I feel I have accomplished my spirit’s ‘first level mission’ or rather, the ‘mission’ is coming to an end.
It’s the same feeling as being at the place of filling out the paper work for the close out of a work assignment. No one else after me, or even my spirit in another form, will be coming in to finish up or redo any odds and ends. It is an interesting place to be. I realize that so much, if not all of my life, has been about striving to reach this point. Reaching it has been the driving force that pushed me to go farther and deeper and not stop.
I’m now standing at the top of the mountain looking at the view of existence. It’s not just of the view in this moment. It’s the view of all of existence, and of everything that has come into being, up to this point.
If you’ve ever lived in a place that you were about to leave and knew you’d never be coming back, you have a sense of what I’m talking about. As you stand there one last moment, it’s like the world has stopped turning. And it has, at least the part of the world that revolved around being in that particular location. Once you step out of the door, it’s done with. It’s been a long time getting to this point… many lifetimes in the making.
The End
I stand in stillness. My mind has nearly stopped jumping around because all the pieces are in place, all the loose ends tied up. Everything is so still, the emptiness expansive. Even in my physical body there is the stillness. I can feel minute mechanisms, that I am unable to identify precisely with my conscious mind, coming to a halt and aligning to stillness.
Now I know what this is the end of. It’s the end of survival. This is the end of everything in my system and my mind that has been geared towards surviving and getting to that next point, to just keep going.
My spirit has been doing exactly that – going on to the next point to survive another lifetime in order to be able to make it to the very point I am now at. It’s been at least 300,000 years in the making. The story of devastation, annihilation, of flight across galaxies and universes to escape and survive, has come to its end.
What’s Next
There’s only one question left: What now? But there is no definition of what lies ahead. There is no predicting the future. Nothing of the known or of the past can be grasped at, nor will it provide enough guidance for a directional thrust and motivation. That’s all the old story. Right now it is about stepping forth into the unknown and undefined. It is about having the willingness to explore and be like a child – innocent and full of wonder, without expectation and very much in the present moment.
It’s a new world out there! Care to join in discovering the magic it contains?
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