IS THAT REALLY “ME”?
As much as we all want to move beyond limitations, It’s common when I describe what I’m sensing or seeing in a person to have one of two reactions from people. They might respond with something along the lines of “That is so me”, “I can relate to that” or “ Yeah, that makes sense”, indicating that I’ve hit the nail on the head on what’s going on for them.
There is another common and yet much less understood response to the impressions I’ve relayed. It is some form of saying “No, that’s Not me”, with a range of intensity behind that “No”. At the surface level, it seems that what has just been described was completely off target and has no connection to the person whatsoever. In actuality, both responses, “This is So me” and “This is absolutely Not me” are indicators that what was said applies directly to the person, and here’s how.
In the case of “That’s So me”, what has been said it is easy to accept as being part of one’s self, of how one sees one’s self. That’s because what has been described is something that the person couldn’t acknowledge in themselves, whether it is seen as a negative or positive attribute. In the case of the opposite of response, the “That’s absolutely Not me”, the mechanisms for why the person is saying that are more subtle.
WHO AM I THEN?
We have ways we like to see ourselves and think of ourselves. We have ways that we want to be seen by others because of many things that we hold inside like beliefs or values. These ways of being that we have constructed for ourselves, are what I call identities. It’s not that these identities are bad or negative, they’re simply characters that we play out in life. Let me give you an example of what that might look like in the context of this conversation.
Let’s say for example, that person X really gets into fixing mechanical objects, be they blenders, radios, vacuums, etc. They have gotten into it so much that they read all about mechanical things and how to fix them, and they’ve always tinkered with them since childhood. Every time someone mentions an issue with an appliance, they jump up to solve the issue. They seem to love doing what they do so much that it’s kind of like they go looking for the opportunity to fix something at every turn, with everyone they meet.
There’s nothing wrong with fixing appliances or things and having a knack for doing so. It’s not about that. It’s about how we approach what we are doing and that becoming not what we are doing but what we are. When we become what we’re doing, we have created an identity for ourselves. And that identity becomes a driving force for doing and being a certain way, instead of simply being true selves. So with our Mr. and Ms. Fix-it example, if they don’t feel comfortable with just being that discomfort it will drive them to look for something to fix.
There are two layers that are active in our Mr. Ms. Fix-it. The top layer is the one that is seen at the surface, the one that isn’t balanced by the person and the rest of their world. That Larry tends to get reinforced by both the individual and those around them, because of what the hell, it’s just convenient to be able to run next door instead of taking the vacuum to the repair shop way across town and getting charged an arm and leg, right?
GOING IN DEEPER AND RECOGNIZING THE PATTERNS
For demo purposes, let’s save the slayer is about feeling unsure and lacking self worth around others. Let’s say that this layer was created in a dramatic event when Mr. or Ms. Fix-it was just a kid. Their mechanical toy Robbie Robot broke, and they took it apart in the hopes of making it go again. In the middle of fixing Robbie Robot, dad came along and told our friend here that they didn’t know what they were doing and they were just stupid trying to pick something they could fix. This young kid deep inside in that moment decided they never wanted to feel that horrible feeling again. Not only did they finally fix Robbie Robot, they wanted to learn how to fix every mechanical item they could come across. And with each mechanical item fixed, praise and accolades abounded.
Decades later the two layers are still there. The deeper one didn’t just dissolve overtime. It’s there too. And then in conversation or in a session, I bring up the sense that Mr. and Ms. Fix-it lack of self worth really comes out around other people. “That’s not me at. Just look at how much people value what I do for them.” Or, “I’m beyond caring what others think about me.”
What I’ve just pointed out is what is holding up the identity the person is holding onto. If they have acknowledged it to themselves, they can say more openly, “yeah, that’s me”. When I bring up something that is counter to how they want to see themselves and how they are portraying others, they are more likely to say “that’s not me”.
IS THAT REALLY ME?
So when is it truly “Not me”? It can be obvious as well as it can be not so obvious. When there’s a lot of holding, tension, be it mental or emotional, in the voice, and even physical tension when saying “that’s not me”, then clearly it is an identity that has got a hold on you and doesn’t want to let you go.
When the tension and holding is more quiet, it can be hard to catch because the identity has gotten you really good at treading water and getting you to think that what you do is who you are. There is a quality to the voice and to the person. It’s a vibrational quality that conveys the truth of the matter.
When it truly is ‘not you’ there is a neutrality towards what was said. There is also more likely to be a willingness to explore, get more understanding about what was said. There is no real attachment to it being so or not. And that gets conveyed in that tonal quality.
Be willing to consider what was said, to explore it, if for no other reason that it may bring you to a deeper understanding of yourself and what makes you tick. It may be true, even to some degree, and maybe it isn’t accurate at all. The willingness to look opens us to move beyond limitations and closes the book on what no longer serves. In doing so, we open ourselves up to be even more brilliant than ever.
Come Into the Brilliance of Your Being!
For More
If you like support in coming into greater wholeness for yourself, consider booking a session: Services . Also check out our stand alone Events coming up.
Join me every Wednesday at 4pm ET for my Coming into Being series live or on replay. Live on YouTube or Listen to Replays
Check out my Frequency Repatterning Audios for added benefit: FRAs
